Day 245

Uggggh some DAYS!

It started off ok. My fuse went again (lights, not temper), but I didn't really let it bother me. Still wasn't talking to Nathaniel, and gave Josh a talking to as I heard him ask if they could go outside, but I hadn't answered - cuz I was brushing my teeth - and they went out anyways. But the walk to school was fine, and although I wasn't giving Nathaniel the time of day, I was in an ok mood when I left them at the school.

I came back to the house, checked some e-mails and made some phone calls, and then drove up to get my eyebrows done. FINALLY! I felt so much better once they were cleaned up. I returned to the house to make sure I had everything I needed, and then headed to the bank. It's closed Tuesdays. DAMMIT! I knew that, and told myself that yesterday...but then I argued with myself, and said it was closed Mondays. I really should have listened to myself...the other self...not the one I did listen to...

On my way to Chelmsford, I stopped for gas. I parked at Tesco's, and then walked to Starbucks. I got myself a hot chocolate, and then went on my mission. I was to find a list of things for Heloise's class. Things such as file dividers, and once back at the grocery store, golden eggs, golden coins, and other odd things to do with Jack and the Bean Stalk. Well...in the same place I got her dividers, I got myself a book. It cost me 1 pound 99! It's Russel Brand's Booky Wooky! YAYYYY! Now I can finally finish the book I have, because I have something else to read! (I've been putting off reading the end since South Africa).

I got a little frustrated at the grocery store as I couldn't find packets of whole wheat flour, and cans of apple puree, and I wasn't sure if it was cuz I was Canadian and didn't know what packaging to look for...or cuz they actually didn't have the things I needed. I finally gave up after searching for what seemed like hours, and I asked someone. They didn't have it. I got in the car and drove to Braintree.

There, I went on the golden egg and coin search. SUCCESS! It took a couple of different stores, but I was pretty proud of myself in the end. It had gotten colder, and I was in a skirt and tube top, so I got a tea at that Starbucks, (Yes, I had 2 today...but nobody outside this blog is to know that, as I would NEVER hear the end of it), and I sat inside for a bit. A little antsy about getting home to watch the rest of Desperate Housewives...I left early. When I got back though, it was 2 o'clock. Ok...an hour. That meant I should have had time to watch half an hour of a show right? Wrong.

I began putting things away, then ran out to the car to get the rest of the parcels, where I was stopped by a delivery man. He asked me to take a package for the people across the way, so I signed for it, and came back in to put things away. I went upstairs, and this part may sound terrible...but I had a bit of a laugh. You see, I thought Brigitta was here, cuz the door wasn't locked...but I hadn't heard her, and there was a note from her on the counter, so I forgot about her and assumed she had just left without locking up. Well...I went to put Heloise's shampoo away, and I scared the CRAP out of her! After talking to her for a second, I left the room and giggled to myself. Finally, I got her back. - I know...it's terrible.

I just had enough time to dump the load of dry laundry on my bed, after hanging the wet, and change my shoes - my feet were killing me - before driving to get the boys. So much for Desperate Housewives...again.

I picked the boys up, still not talking to Nathaniel, and we got back to the house. I didn't help him carry his bags, and when he wasn't paying attention to what was going on around him, I left them all on the driveway. He was really getting on my nerves as lately he's only worried about himself, and no one else or their feelings. He came to the door, and as I was telling him to go get his things, he started eating leaves. I HATE when he does that. I told him off. The boys got a snack, and we headed to swimming.

Swimming was fine, Josh and I had a nice conversation, and we also talked to the neighbour who was there with her children. It was when the lesson ended, that things went wrong. I won't go into great detail, because it all really upset me and I don't like re living things like that, cuz then I just get angry again, and it doesn't help me de-stress at all. Instead I'll just say, because my emotions were so high with Nathaniel, Zach did something wrong, and I yelled at him. I got everyone in the car and was SO close to tears I am sure the boys could see them, and I apologized to Zach, and told Nathaniel what had happened, and how it wasn't fair to Zach. He apologized to me. Finally! I told him he probably didn't even remember why I had stopped talking to him, and I clearly upset him by pouring all of my feelings out, because he buried his face in his fleece. Josh tried making me laugh, he could see I was soooo close to tears, and I had turned off the music. That NEVER happens, but I didn't want to ruin my Happy CD, with my mood.

We drove to Tescos with Zach crying in the back of the car, and when we got there, he took my hand, but was still crying about the same thing I had yelled at him for...a stick. Anyway, I was glad he was holding my hand. Nathaniel apologized for being so rude. We went into the store, found out they didn't have what I needed, and came back out to the car.

We drove to the house, and Heloise dished up our dinners. All 3 of the boys acted up at dinner, but Nathaniel actually did me a favour (while Heloise was out of the room on the phone) and ate EVERYTHING! Even mushrooms which he HATES! It took a while, but eventually he said he'd do it. I was so pleased with him. Zach wouldn't eat his, and got me angry but I kept my cool. He went off to Heloise. ARGH! I got the other 2 their fruit, and then they got their own dessert, and Zach's - which I didn't agree with. When Heloise had come back in the room, I asked if it was ok that I come upstairs, and she said yes. I was seeing if my Mom was online when a knock came at my door. It was Zach. He asked if he could come in...but if you saw my room right now...you'd understand why I asked him why he wanted in. He said he wanted to play a game with me. YAY! He doesn't hate me even when I get mad at him now! He got upset when I said I wasn't going to play a game tonight, and said he really wanted to. I told him I was going to bed and he began to walk away. I asked if I could have a hug and he said yes. Heloise called him as he was supposed to be doing homework. Haha, little monkey. He told her he'd be down in a minute, but I wanted a cuddle lol. He rolled to me, I gave him a hug, and off he went. I got in the shower, and am now going to speak to my Mom and fold some laundry before getting a decent night's sleep. Good Night xx

Oh yeah, and I showed them the chart this morning. Josh asked me if I wanted to do it, and I told him that I knew they would want to cuz they ask me every day how much longer I'm here for. He looked upset...but I'm not sure that he was cuz he and Nathaniel just ran off to play and didn't say anything. Now they just want to know who behaved best so they can put the sticker on. Nice.