Day 243

What a day. From good to bad, and bad to good, and back again, there were many ups and downs.

It began with a down. Screaming at who knows what time. UGH! I was awoken a number of times this way, and I eventually gave up trying to sleep. By the time I gave up, the boys were leaving the house, so of course, now that I was awake, the house was quiet. Whatever. I spent a bit of time on my computer and eventually started getting ready to take them to the movies. Nathaniel had agreed to seeing Iron Man 2 with the rest of us, last night. So ready, and skipping breakfast, I went downstairs when I heard them come in. I was thinking it was an hour later than it was, and asked if they were ready. Josh said they hadn't had lunch yet, and I began to panic. Then I looked at the time and realized we still had an hour. I said that was fine, and went upstairs.

When the hour had passed, I went downstairs, and outside to get them. I asked if they were ready, and Nathaniel said he didn't want to come. Zach couldn't wait and screamed - the same type of scream he got in trouble for this morning - so Heloise came out and told him he had to go to his room. Then after trying to persuade Nathaniel to come, I gave up. I told him it would be the last time I asked him to do anything with me - cuz he never wants to - and told Josh to come on. Well...then there was a huge melt down with Josh. He didn't want to go cuz he didn't think it was fair to Zach. Great. I was getting so angry. Then, Nathaniel decided he'd come cuz he didn't want me to stop asking him to do stuff, Josh didn't know if he wanted to or not, and Heloise and Tim were yelling at the two of them to make up their minds, telling Nathaniel it was 9 pound so if he didn't want to go, not to go. Then he was upset cuz he didn't want to go, but didn't want me to stop asking him to go to things. Josh still didn't know what he wanted to do, and he was getting in trouble. I made a comment on how he always bails on me as well, and for him to make up his mind because if we were going we had to leave or we'd miss it, and if he wasn't, to tell me so that I could know what I was doing. He took forever and in the end I said fine so I'm going by myself? I walked towards the door and Tim said "So no one's going now then?" I stood to wait for the answer, and so pissed off when they both said no, I told Tim and Heloise I'd see them later, and I left the house. Nathaniel came running to the door, opened it and said "Thanks for asking!" but I ignored him, and holding back loads of tears, I got into the car and drove away. As I pulled out, I saw him watching over the fence, and the look I gave him was not very nice. I hope he knows how upset I was. - Wow, writing about it is not a good idea...I was ok with it eventually, and now I'm getting upset again -

On the way to Braintree I decided I didn't care, I had told myself I was having popcorn today, and it was going to happen, cousins or no cousins. I thought of how my Aunt Jill (GAJ) would be laughing at me at that moment, and it made me smile. I stopped to get gas, and some St. George's Cross wrapped Mars Bars, and when I finished there, went to Freeport. I walked into the theatre, asked what was playing, and chose the one movie I hadn't seen yet "Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang". I got my drink and my popcorn, and I went to sit on my own. I didn't really care. Not nearly as much as I thought I would. It was actually quite nice. I didn't even have to chew my popcorn quietly in the not so loud parts of the movie. Plus the theatre was mostly kids, so it wasn't too intimidating. I almost broke down in tears a few times during the movie, but all in all, it was cute, and I enjoyed it.

Once I finished there, I walked out with a smile on my face, still thinking of my Aunt Jill, and feeling good about myself. I had stepped WAY out of my comfort zone, and it felt great. I walked over to Starbucks - and was liking my outfit, so I walked with confidence - I talked to the regular people there who kept me smiling, and I left. I walked back to the car, and drove to the house smiling the whole way.

When I got back, Heloise and Tim asked what I had seen, and Josh was acting way too interested, clearly trying to get me to forgive him. I'm sure he doesn't realize it still, but I'm so angry with him and Nathaniel. Heloise made him apologize to me, but I didn't pay much attention to it, they can be so rude, and SO selfish. Zach said he wanted to come with me next time. He then asked me to go outside with him, so I did. I was in my slippers, and told him I'd have to change into shoes. Nathaniel and Josh were trying to say sorry so I explained that I wouldn't have been bothered if they just didn't want to see the movie. (Even though I KNOW Josh wanted to). I said it was the fact that I was going to go to Peterborough this weekend, but then thought the boys might want to go see a movie...then when they agreed to Iron Man 2, I thought ok great! Then 5 MINUTES before leaving they changed their minds. I told them it was selfish and ruined my plans. Josh looked like he might understand, but within minutes...no, probably seconds, the 2 of them were off laughing and playing soccer and asking me to get their ball for them UGH! I should have gone up to my room, and ignored them, but I didn't.

Anyway, I played with Zach, and then the 4 of us were walking to the field to play a Spongebob game, when I asked if they'd want to do a bit of a treasure hunt. I asked if they'd help look for my phone. Everyone but the selfish Nathaniel said yes. Josh was trying to be really helpful and even Zach was pushing plant leaves aside. Nathaniel mentioned that it was boring and the worst type of treasure hunt ever. He was being so rude all day today I was getting angry.

We gave up and began walking to the field, when I remembered George and Alice. I explained to the boys why we should leave their area alone, and play in the back instead. We went back into the backyard, and the two older boys decided to go in and watch Cricket. My Aunt and Uncle had arrived by this time and began helping to get dinner ready. Zach and I began "exploring". I don't know how, but we ended up in the front again. We began talking and walking, and ended up over by the river. I have no idea how - you'll understand when you see the pic - but I saw my phone!!!!!!!!!! It was in a divot SO close to the river! I have no idea how I was so lucky for so many different reasons. It could have fallen in in the first place, with all the ducks and cats around, it could have been knocked in, plus it had rained a bit this morning, and my phone STILL works!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it! I was so happy! I told Zach I had to run in and call the phone company, so I did that, let some people know that I'd found it and thanked them for caring, and then went back out to play with Zach until dinner. There was also a couple of minutes where Josh had asked to see my pictures I had taken when I lost my phone. He didn't understand why I would want to take a picture of an Ant though, and then Nathaniel started being rude about it, and treating me like dirt, so I shut my computer down and started helping put the food on the table.

We sat and ate, and there was more tantrums, yelling, and the sending of one boy to his room for a brief moment. When we finished, I made them all hot chocolate. Josh was the only one that finished his which aggravated me. After dessert they all went to bed, and the grown ups sat around talking. I wasn't happy with the conversation, but bit my tongue, and put up with it. Eventually my Aunt and Uncle left, and I came up to do this, paint my nails and go to bed. I'm exhausted but feel like I'm going to break into tears at any moment, so I don't want to close my eyes and try to sleep cuz I don't want to think about missing home. I better though, or I won't be in a good mood tomorrow. Good Night xx