Day 199

To be honest with you, today was another one of those days. I tried to make it different, but it just didn't work. The boys were being rude when I came down to get their breakfasts, and I was at a loss. Josh looked at me and said "What, are you tired again?" Even though I was, I chose to answer in a different way...because my mood wasn't that I was tired, it was their attitudes that were wearing me out. I said "No, I'm not, I'm sick of the way you guys treat me. It's as if you're going backwards". I explained that no one was currently winning the star chart, because so far this week, no one has been behaving. I could tell that he was upset about that, but that he was taking the information in, and so I continued. It didn't matter to me if it would make a difference with the other 2, I just hoped he was really picking up on it. I told him Zach's been talking back, Nathaniel's been cheeky, and he has been budding into everyone's business. I went on to say how much better they were getting just a few weeks ago, and now it's like we're back to square one. He sat in silence.

We got his and Nathaniel's homework done, while Zach sat on my lap and drew with me. That was nice. We got ready to walk to school, Josh got everyone's coats for me, and out we went. Zach asked if we were taking the car. I can no longer stand that question! I told him we weren't, and sulkingly, but quickly, he took my hand and we crossed the street. We stopped to examine a giant snail, and even took a picture. To my surprise, as the boys all walked briskly, we still had time to walk the long way around to the school. Josh had left, but came running back looking like he was going to cry. He told me that although he didn't think he had guitar today, he had just remembered missing a class, and that meant he'd have to make it up at lunch. I told him not to worry and that I would drop his guitar at the office for him. I somehow managed to keep him from crying, told him not to worry, and off he went. Things with them were looking up. Once they all went into their classes, I headed down the path. When I glanced a little further, I saw that the trail was covered in huge puddles, and so I turned around to walk the long way.

When I got back, I put the guitar at the door, grabbed my things, and asked Heloise if she wanted to come into Chelmsford with me, as I was going on a hunt for this sweater my brother wanted. She said she couldn't because she had to write. I loaded up the car, told her I'd pick some things up for her, and I left. At the high street, I was in the lane to turn right, and had my signal on as well. I remembered Chelmsford was the opposite direction, and wondered what I was doing. I turned left. It wasn't until I was stuck in traffic heading to Chelmsford, that I looked to my left and remembered Josh's guitar was sitting next to me. Crap! I turned off as soon as I could, and drove back to the school. I ran it into the office, and once again, headed to Chelmsford.

When I arrived, the first store I headed to was Debenhams. I had to find it...but when I did, I knew what I was looking for. I searched the entire Ben Sherman section for this sweater my brother wanted, and I couldn't find it! I went around the same racks a number of times, and eventually decided to give up. As I was walking out of that section, I happened to look across at a rack in a completely different brands section, and there it was! First one on the rack! I walked over to it, and there were about 7 hanging there. I found the right size, and very happy with myself, walked to the cash to pay. With that crossed off my list of things to do, I headed to Monsoon - a store that's not my type at all - and I picked up the cutest little dress for Heloise to give to her niece. I checked a couple of shoe stores for some shoes she had been looking at for her nephew the other day, and when I couldn't find them, I left Chelmsford.

Earlier in the day, I had received a text from someone asking if I wanted to go to Freeport, and they said they'd be ready at 11. I told them I was in Chelmsford but if they wanted to go after 1, that would be fine. By the time I left Chelmsford, I still hadn't heard back, and so I drove to Freeport on my own. I was in a crappy mood, and needed a smile, so I had told myself I wouldn't get a Starbucks at Chelmsford, I'd get one at Freeport - Braintree. As I parked the car, I looked at my phone and there was a text from the person saying 1 would be perfect. I wasn't sure what to do. I debated just driving back to the house, but then thought of what a waste of gas that would be, plus I had some things I wanted to get done. I got out of the car, and walked into Starbucks to order my drink. I didn't get my smile. He wasn't there :( But I got my drink, and sat down to write a letter. As soon as I finished that, I walked back to the car, finishing my drink on the way, and had to drive back to pick this person up.

When I arrived back at the house, I walked in to see Heloise completely bundled up and frozen, on the couch, watching "27 Dresses". I asked if she was just taking a little break, or did she want to come to Freeport with us. She said she had to work, and then was going to the boys school to go on a Safety Walk with Zach's class. She then told me not to worry about being back at a certain time, because she'd already be at the school, and would therefore be picking the boys up. I sent a text asking the person if they were ready to go. They told me they were just brushing their teeth. A little while later, the doorbell rang. I answered it, and we went to Braintree.

Our first stop was the Cadbury shop. I had some chocolate to get for Heloise to give to the boys on Easter, and I wanted to pick up an egg for each of them as well. Plus I needed dark chocolate as I ran out a few days ago. I bought everything, and the two of us headed to Starbucks. I prayed the ladies wouldn't say anything about me being there earlier, and luckily, they didn't. This person bought my soy caramel hot chocolate (which was effing delicious by the way) for me, and we sat down to enjoy our drinks. He still wasn't there :( Midway through our conversation, I envisioned myself flying across the table and hurting this person, as they bad mouthed my sister for not doing a 30 hour drive in 2 days to see me. They really made me angry. Once we got past that topic, I found myself bored, and envisioned pulling my hair out. I was not happy due to the prior conversation, and I just wanted to get out of there. At 2:30 by my cell phone (which is 5 minutes fast), I mentioned it was time to go. We stood up to leave, and on our way out, the person asked if we had time to run into a store. Although every part of me wanted to say no, I said yes, and we walked in. They picked something up, paid for it, and we were on our way again. The drive home wasn't too bad...but I still didn't want to be around this person. They were talking about getting together again...I can't see it happening. I stopped at the co-op to get some raisins, and then drove back. I couldn't get here soon enough.

When we got back, this person went on there way, and I came into the house. It was empty as Heloise had already left for the school. I had some raisins, and a yogurt and watched the Apprentice. Nathaniel, Zach and Heloise came home, and Nathaniel got ready for Beavers. While he was eating, Zach and I were watching Spiderman, and Heloise had to run out. While she was gone, all hell broke loose in the kitchen. I had asked Nathaniel to bring his plate out when he was full, and when I walked in, he was pouring pasta into the sink. I had a feeling he was doing this, and managed to walk in just in time to stop him before the whole dish was emptied. I made sure he knew what he was doing wrong, and asked him to pick up the pasta he had put in the sink, and switch it to the garbage. He then proceeded to have a hissy fit about wet pasta. He started crying and was yelling that he wasn't doing it, it was disgusting. I asked him why he was crying and told him how ridiculous it was. He kept saying how disgusting it was, and my response was "If it's so disgusting, why should Mummy or I have to do it? How is that fair?" He didn't have an answer. I asked him how old he was, and that's when Zach started picking the pasta up, telling Nathaniel he was almost 8! I was happy Zach said it, and thanked him, but asked him to put the pasta down, it was Nathaniel's mess to clean up. He stood there crying as loud as possible, and I knew Heloise would be home any minute and after being yelled at for being ridiculous, he would get his way. I simply turned to him, and said "You know if mummy was here, she would be yelling at you for being so ridiculous. If you aren't going to do it because it's SO disgusting, pick up a fork, and use that!" He did. But not without complaining. He started putting it in the garbage can, when he dropped some and started throwing another wobbly as it landed on the floor, and got all over the can. Heloise walked in and called the boys to the door, as they all had to go to Beavers. He complained that he didn't have time to clean it up. I told him it was because he spent 10 minutes fussing about something so silly, and told him to go, while I ended up picking it up off the floor and cleaning up.

I sat down again to talk to people on MSN, and then I set the table. I watched some TV, and after they got home from Beavers, I helped Nathaniel get into his rugby kit. Once he was gone, Heloise, Zach and I sat down to eat. It was then that Zach really upset me. He said "Maija, why don't you help us do anything?" "Excuse me?" I said. Heloise continued eating. He repeated himself. I said I did. Heloise asked what he meant, what types of things. His answer was "Well like you make us bring our plates into the kitchen when we're done". I said "Yes, I'm trying to teach you that there are things you should be able to do for yourself". He explained to Heloise that I make them do it every morning when I come down for breakfast. She didn't say anything. He then threw a bit of a tantrum saying he didn't want to do it. He kept repeating himself and saying he didn't want to do it now. Heloise told him he wasn't doing it now, right now he was eating, and for some reason that was the end of the conversation. It wasn't however, over in my mind.

After dinner he mentioned that he wanted me to help him make a lego Indiana Jones, while Heloise ran the bath. I told him I didn't think I could, because I don't help him with things. Heloise heard and just sort of laughed. He asked again, and again, and again. I told him I had to put pictures on his flash drive for school before I forgot. When I finished that, I was hoping that it would be time for him to go up. It wasn't. I came upstairs to get my 3 pcs of chocolate, and he was calling me from the stairs. I told him I'd be down in a minute. Had Heloise of been out, I would have stuck to my guns and said the thing about me not helping him again. But I didn't. I went downstairs, and to the cupboard. I got the lego out, and told him it would have to wait til tomorrow as it was way too big to finish before bath time. He began throwing a tantrum. I told him to stop, and listen. I repeated myself saying that it was too big, and we would work on it tomorrow. He said he just wanted to do some of it, and I said no. He threw himself on the floor, and started "crying" and yelling. I told him to listen to me, and he continued. I said fine, we won't do it tomorrow either. Which got him even angrier. I told him if he wasn't going to listen to me, I couldn't talk to him, and I left the room, him still on the ground. I came upstairs, gave Heloise all of the easter chocolate, told her he was on the ground upset with me, said good night, jumped in the shower and came online to speak to my Mom. Now I'm going to speak with her a little more, and then go to sleep. Good Night xx