Day 68

How bad is it that I go to bed thinking of how excited I am to wake up and have a bowl of cereal. I seriously think I've lost a part of my mind. I am craving it right now, which makes me even sleepier, cuz I know, the faster I close my eyes...the sooner morning will seem, when those tasty spoonfuls will be in my mouth. Yum! - Yup! I've lost it! -

Ohhhh it was one of those days. The morning was fine, my "delicious" fairy cakes were raved about, and the boys ate (Tim has been getting most of their breakfast...I guess he got his job back when I went to Canada, and he's not planning on letting me take over again). So I had my cereal, and when the boys finished theirs, they did their homework. Today was "Children in Need" day at school so for some reason, that meant all the children got to dress up. If they wore a uniform, 50p went in for donation, but each class or year I guess, had a theme. Josh's classmates all went as artists (I gave him an eyeliner mustache), Nathaniel's as cooks (they were making jelly in class today), and Zach's class went as space men...so he was Buzz Lightyear. The Fairy Cakes were to sell for 20p.

So, out the door, and off we went. We were walking to school today, as they were all going to the same place. We didn't even get to the pathway and Josh was in tears because he forgot his paint pallette and brush at home, and we didn't have enough time to turn around and get it because they had taken so long to leave the house in the first place. I told him I would walk back home and drive it up as soon as I dropped them off. That got rid of the day's first set of tears, but the last had yet to come.

I dropped the 3 of them off...walked home (No, the builder wasn't there...but I think the guy who may now be living in that house, seemed to look rather nice), and I picked up the car, the artist's accessories and drove to the school. Ordered Josh his vegetarian lunch for the day, got the extra tickets for the school play sorted, had them call him about picking up his stuff, and came home again.

Got in, and ate a piece of carrot cake Brigitta had made me :| Then I did the newest sticker chart thinking "WOW Zach's in the lead!!" (...AND I've just counted the stickers up, and he's won by 1 point!!!) Anyways..by the time I finished that, it was time to go get him. This is where the day took it's turn for the worse. I picked him up...our walk home was fine, we held hands and had great conversation as usual. We got in the door, and he wanted the wii on while I made lunch. Fine. I did that for him, made lunch...heard little yelps for help while I was in the kitchen, so I helped a couple of times but was getting aggravated with chewed up joysticks and such. Lunch was ready so I got him to come sit at the table. He had wanted to go to the pub for lunch but I had other plans for us. So when he finished I asked if he wanted to go get a hot chocolate, and told him that Starbucks now had new cakes out as it was Christmas. I was thinking he would love that, as the last time we sat and had a really nice time, and just the other day he was talking about how the boys have gotten to go with me, and he wanted to again. Well...today wasn't that day. He wanted to continue playing wii, and there was no talking him into anything else. Next time I won't be giving him an option. After some frustration with games being too hard, and controllers not working properly, he got bored, and there were some fake tears coming out - which many of you know, I have no tolerance for - Luckily though, I don't lose my cool...I just explain things, and talk the situation over with whoever is acting up. I told him that's why I had given him the option to get out of the house earlier...but he didn't care. He asked if we could play lego, but we didn't have time as we'd have to leave to get Nathaniel soon, and I didn't want to leave a mess in the playroom that I would have to come home to, and clean up in between making meals. Instead, we went in to watch Spongebob. Now normally...I would not resort to wii or tv, on any given day. I love spending time with the children I look after...relatives or not, but today he just was not having any of it. No other ideas matched up to Wii or TV for him. Again...next time...it's not an option.

Anyway, we watched Spongebob, and this next thing was stupid on my part. I had seen that Scooby Doo was going to start at 3...and I knew we had to leave at 3. So by rights, I should have been on the ball and shut the TV off the second Spongebob ended...but I was busy checking how long it would take to make dinner. So, I tell him it's time to go. He starts to cry cuz he wants to watch Scooby, and then starts to cry more when I don't pause it. I turned the TV on (contrary to what my mind was telling me) and tried to pause it. Something was already recording, so I couldn't (I think someone was on my side today, telling me I was doing the right thing in the first place). So I turned the TV off, and started putting his shoes on him. He knew it wasn't paused and started crying again. This was enough for me. I explained the pause wasn't working...then, inside my mind, realized what I was saying, and therefore proceeded to explain that he is very lucky to even have the option of pausing live TV, as it is a luxury most children wouldn't have. - Like he cared what most children have or don't have - More tears that continued up the road, but I told him to stop. He was being silly. His legs were too tired so I had to carry him through a pathway and a half, until I realized he was falling asleep, decided I would not be holding him the whole time we waited for Nathaniel again today, and I put him down. (He's pretty heavy, and that is definitely considered a work out). We walked up to the school, (so just a half pathway walk), and he needed up in the playground. That was fine. I hung onto him and he gave me cuddles.

Without going into more and more detail...the rest of the day was much the same. Him crying about silly things, and showing me that he really thought he could get what he wanted when he wanted. That will be changing...and soon! Skip ahead to me making dinner. I had to do Nathaniel's first as he was going off to football, so I did the pasta, and there were just a couple of minutes left on the meatballs when Zach and I had to go get Josh. (Tim would take them out of the oven) More tears...he wanted to stay with Daddy, who wasn't staying, but was taking Nathaniel.

We got in the car, (as he couldn't possibly walk to the school and back again, although I wanted the exercise), and stood outside waiting for Josh. Zach was full of beans by this point. Jumping around, playing I Spy. It was the perfect time, as it was just the two of us waiting, to talk to him about how he behaved today. He can't make eye contact with you when he's being told off. More jumping around and Josh met up with us. The 3 of us drove home listening to "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas", and when we got there, I made dinner for us. Heloise walked in, so I made enough for her as well. We all sat down to eat. Zach was misbehaving at the dinner table, but I kept my cool. I had already told Heloise I thought he had to go to bed early cuz of the way he had been all day, he must have been tired. Haha. I am sure that is not the reason...but anyway. After dinner I asked what fruit he was having. He said a plum, but not chopped up. Now, earlier...he had wanted a pear, but not chopped up...and that is very out of the ordinary for these boys. So I washed the plum off, but this time I watched what he did (unlike with the pear). He must have taken one bite out of it, as he came back into the kitchen WAY too fast, and he threw it in the garbage can. I couldn't believe it. I asked him what he just did, and he wouldn't tell me. When I called him on it, and told him he was having another plum, I asked if he had done the same thing with the pear earlier. He said yes. I washed the plum off, chopped it up and said "Well then from now on, I will be chopping up all of your fruit to make sure you eat it". To this he replied..."Well when you're not here anymore, I won't have to eat my fruit". :O I could not believe it! But without a second thought, I turned to him and said, "Well you're stuck with me for another 298 days, so get used to it". I think there was some shock on his face. Heloise had clearly heard the tail end of the conversation, so I explained what had happened and she could not believe he had said that. She pulled him aside, but he would not apologize. She also told him it was unfair for him to say that because although daddy can't be bothered trying to get him to eat it, she certainly makes him, and will continue to make him after I'm gone.

Anyway, all of that was over and done with, Josh was working on his Math homework, I checked some e-mails, and then I got ready to go to Toni's sisters place while she babysat. Heloise dropped me off on the way to Cubs, and when I arrived, Joe answered the door with Toni behind him, and a little Zoe waiting very close by. She is one of the cutest little girls ever. I picked her up, and she came and sat on my knee. She had a conversation with me, and we looked at a book together until it was time for them to go to bed. She's so cute. So is Joe, but he's still pretty quiet around me.

Once they were in bed, Toni and I caught up and I told her all about my trip. Her sister came home and joined the conversation. It was really nice. Toni dropped me back here around 11:30, and I came up to write this, check some e-mails, finish the sticker chart...and soon enough I will fall asleep. Lots to do before I go out tomorrow. Hair, nails, etc. Good Night xx